How to avoid pre-nups becoming a wedding alarm bell

As one of the most popular seasons for wedding proposals approaches, couples are being reminded to factor pre-nuptials into their plans well ahead of the big day.

No longer associated with the rich and famous, people from all walks of life and finance levels are entering into nuptial agreements. And often it’s not the couples themselves who initiate the idea to enter into a nuptial agreement, it can often be suggested by their parents.

“It’s becoming more common for couples to take out an agreement because their parents have helped them financially more than perhaps, they did 5 to 10 years ago,” said Sally Ward, a Senior Associate solicitor in Family Law at leading law firm, Ellisons Solicitors.

“It can be financial support, like helping to put a deposit on a home, or a family business that one party works for and may be planning to take over from their parents in the future.”

Second marriages are another reason many couples want a pre-nuptial agreement. Sally said: “People may have acquired wealth before their second marriage, they may have a blended family, or it can be a case of once bitten, twice shy. They want to protect themselves and if they already have children, they don’t want them to lose out.”

Whether it’s to protect children, assets, inheritance or a family business, a pre-nuptial agreement can take time, and couples are advised to address it well ahead of the wedding date.

“While the guidelines say a pre-nuptial agreement needs to be finalised at least 28 days before getting married, we would recommend doing it as early as possible and a minimum of two months,” said Sally. “This is not only because it can be a lengthy process, but it can also be seen as unromantic, if the terms of the agreement are being discussed so close to the marriage.  We want couples to enjoy the build up to their big day and avoid any unnecessary stress.”

“A lot of people think it’s just a quick, easy thing, like a change of name deed, but it’s not. It’s quite difficult and time consuming because you’re trying to think about what might happen in the future.”

Although not yet legally binding in England and Wales, a nuptial agreement is likely to be upheld if each person fully understands the document they are signing; have shared full details of their finances with each other; has had independent legal advice; and they have not been put under any duress to sign the agreement, from their partner or anyone else.

Sally said: “Some nuptial agreements can be quite straightforward because the couple know what they want; they may just want to get it over and done with but even with a simple agreement, time is needed for both lawyers to fully advise their clients and draft the agreement, which are lengthy documents, before all parties review. Other couples can need more guidance, and this will involve a longer period of negotiating. “

“I think one of the hardest things for people to consider, and something they often forget, is that their situation can change. What if you have children at some point? Should you think about the person who’s looking after the children and whether they should receive a little more financial support because of that?”

“Another tricky area can be people being upfront about disclosing their worth, this can end up being quite a complicated process to address if there isn’t transparency from the beginning.”

“A lot of people also don’t like talking about money or even thinking about the possibility of separating when they’ve just committed to a life together. While this is understandable, if you can discuss these delicate subjects in advance and come to an agreement, the ability to do this provides a good foundation to the marriage.”

“Allowing time to talk through these different areas can avoid a lot of stress. That’s why it’s important to start the process as early as possible and not leave it to the last minute.”

All is not lost if a couple leave it too late. Couples can have a post nuptial agreement drawn up after their wedding and the same principles would apply.

But whether pre or post marriage, one of the most common oversights by couples is to ensure that they have regular reviews of their nuptial agreements.

“After going through the hard work of drawing up an agreement, it’s important to ensure it is fit for purpose further down the line,” said Sally. “Circumstances can change and what you think is fair when the agreement is drafted, might not be fair in the future.”

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