Even the most meticulously drafted Child Arrangements Order can struggle to keep pace with the complex realities of family life. International travel, demanding professional commitments, multiple households and evolving child needs all create moving parts that a static court order cannot fully anticipate During Family Mediation Week, Alex Verdan KC and associate Felicia Munde emphasise how mediation helps families move beyond past conflict and refocus on constructive, future-oriented solutions.
When tensions resurface after litigation
When tensions resurface after earlier family litigation, many parents feel lost and do not know where to turn. They understandably resent a return to court, knowing how slow, rigid, expensive and adversarial the process can be. Post‑litigation mediation can offer a calmer, more flexible alternative, one that can adapt to suit the needs of a family finding their footing again after the pressures of contentious litigation have ceased.
When an unforeseen dispute arises, whether triggered by a school acceptance, an unexpected overseas commitment or a clinical recommendation, parents can often benefit from structured mediation. This provides them with the space to revisit, refine or renegotiate the arrangements that support their children’s daily lives. Instead of escalating matters into another round of court proceedings, mediation enables parents to retain control, make informed decisions and resolve disputes with greater speed and agility.
Why mediation works even in high-conflict scenarios
What enables mediation to work in the most contentious of scenarios? Ultimately, it is effective because of the ability to design the process around the needs of the family, rather than forcing the family to fit a process that doesn’t suit them. Mediation does not require parents to like each other or feel emotionally ready to collaborate. Indeed, many parents feel too entrenched or too bruised by the earlier litigation process to imagine sitting in the same room, even virtually, with the other parent.
Yet mediation after litigation is not about reopening old wounds. Instead, its purpose is to redirect the focus towards what the future should look like for the children and how arrangements can be made to support that.
With the right, skilled mediator, the process can be carefully designed to maintain a sense of safety, respect and control. Sessions can be structured, time-limited and adapted to suit the communication style and emotional needs of each parent. In higher‑conflict cases, for example, shuttle mediation allows discussions to continue without direct interaction, giving both parents space to express themselves.
For others, lawyer‑assisted mediation can provide an added layer of reassurance and support. Where allegations or findings of coercive control or previous abuse are present, mediation should be safeguarding‑led to ensure that it remains psychologically and physically safe. Child‑inclusive mediation can also be conducted where a child’s safety, consent and developmental stage allow.
The importance of choosing the right mediator
Choosing the right mediator is pivotal in achieving progress after contentious proceedings. No two mediators work in the same way, and in high‑conflict, high net worth cases, the mediator’s style and skill set can shape the entire trajectory of discussions. Some mediators take a structured, directive approach, which may be ideal when parents need more guidance and clear boundaries. Others may adopt a calmer, facilitative style, which may help to rebuild productive communication where trust has eroded. Selecting a mediator whose approach aligns with the family’s needs and dynamics is therefore a strategic decision that can determine whether mediation becomes a constructive path forward or another stalled attempt at resolution.
Alex summarises:
“Mediation can give parents a way to recover their voice, restore cooperation, and rebuild their co-parenting relationship, even after the most challenging and contentious litigation.”
About the authors
Alex Verdan KC is the head of the Children team. He specialises in complex and serious children cases. In particular those involving high conflict, relocations, and allegations of abuse; including false allegations. He has been in practice for over 35 years and over that time has built up extensive experience in all types of children cases both in the UK and globally. He acts in cases involving international families and cases dealing with leave to remove from the jurisdiction. He has extensive experience of relocation cases, having specialised in them for over 20 years and been involved in more than 150 hearings.
Alex is an expert in non-court dispute resolution and is a sought-after mediator and arbitrator having qualified in 2012 and 2016 respectively. Alex was also appointed a deputy High Court judge in 2009.
Felicia Munde advises on a wide spectrum of complex children cases. Her expertise covers international issues including child abduction and relocations, as well as wardship and contact issues. Felicia also has extensive experience in matters involving welfare concerns, domestic abuse, coercive control and/or alienating behaviours. She has assisted parents in obtaining injunctions and protective orders, including orders to terminate or restrict parental responsibility.
Felicia was recognised in The Legal 500 rankings in 2022 and 2025 and was shortlisted in the Family Law Awards in 2023 and 2024. She is the current co-chair of Resolution’s National Yres Committee, representing the voice of junior family law practitioners nationwide.
One Response
Even after litigation concludes, parents often remain organised around different internal narratives of loss, threat, or control. Those narratives don’t automatically resolve with a legal outcome. Unless they’re stabilised, children continue to live with the emotional aftermath, something I wrote about years ago in the “Kids Don’t Divorce” chapter of The Divorce Doctor.