Cognitive behaviour therapist Sonya Black explains how family lawyers can identify trauma responses and shares practical strategies to support clients who may be dealing with stress responses.
As family lawyers, you are often the first professional point of contact for clients navigating separation and divorce. What many practitioners may not realise is that a significant proportion of these clients are experiencing trauma responses, not simply emotional distress.
Understanding trauma-informed practice is not about becoming a therapist. It is about recognising how trauma affects your client’s capacity to make decisions, communicate effectively and engage with legal processes – and how you can adapt your approach accordingly.
Behaviours such as missing deadlines, withdrawing instructions, changing their account or appearing uncooperative are often driven by fear, appeasement, dissociation and compliance; all of which are biological responses, not personality traits.
What is trauma-informed practice?
Trauma-informed practice is not just another buzzword or the latest initiative, it’s an entirely different way of understanding people and their experience.
It recognises the widespread impact of trauma and understands potential paths for recovery, acknowledging that experiences such as domestic abuse, relationship breakdown – and even the litigation process itself – can trigger trauma responses.
At its core, trauma-informed practice represents a fundamental shift in perspective, from asking “What is wrong with you?” to asking “What has happened to you?” or “What is happening to you right now?”
Difficult life things happen, but trauma is what happens inside us as a result.
Our nervous system responses are not our fault, they are designed to protect us and keep us safe. When a client displays difficulty concentrating, heightened emotional reactivity or numbness, avoidance behaviours, difficulty making decisions or hypervigilance, these are not character flaws. They are protective responses.
Trauma-informed practice offers a space where these experiences are understood through the lens of the nervous system, not judgement. It is not about fixing what is wrong – your client is not broken. It is about supporting the body and brain to move out of survival and back into choice, clarity and capacity.
Without a trauma-informed lens, these behaviours can be misinterpreted as uncooperative or irrational. When we understand the physiology of trauma, we interpret behaviour more accurately, reduce re-traumatisation, promote growth and strengthen legal outcomes.
How trauma affects brain function during divorce
When a client is experiencing trauma, anxiety or chronic stress, their brain is not simply dealing with ‘big feelings ‘. There are measurable changes to core brain functions essential for navigating divorce successfully.
The brain operates with two key systems: the threat detection system (amygdala) acts as an alarm, triggering fight, flight or freeze responses. The thinking brain (prefrontal cortex) handles rational decision-making, planning and impulse control.
Under high stress, activity in the threat system increases while the prefrontal cortex’s regulatory influence decreases.
This shift directly impacts:
- Memory – struggling to recall timelines, dates, and details accurately.
- Decision-making – weighing options and thinking ahead becomes exhausting.
- Communication – going blank, losing words, or becoming tearful during key moments.
- Judgement – difficulty accurately assessing risk or reading social cues.
- Emotional regulation – swinging between numbness and overwhelm.
- Focus – trouble concentrating on documents, emails or legal advice.
- Hypervigilance – staying on high alert even when objectively safe.
- Sleep – disruption that compounds all of the above.
The implications are profound. Informed consent becomes compromised, conflict escalates more easily, and settlement becomes harder to achieve. Without recognition of these neurobiological impacts, the legal process itself can become an additional source of trauma.
The six key principles of trauma-informed practice
Trauma-informed practice is built on six core principles that can be integrated into every client interaction:
- Safety – Prioritise physical, psychological and emotional safety. Offer choice about seating arrangements, ensure private spaces for difficult conversations, and avoid unnecessary surprises.
- Trustworthiness and transparency – Be clear about processes, expectations, and next steps. Explain legal processes in plain language, repeatedly if needed. Provide written summaries of meetings.
- Choice – Offer options where possible to counteract feelings of powerlessness. Even small choices, such as how to structure a meeting or whether to take breaks, can restore a sense of agency and control.
- Collaboration – Work with clients as partners, not passive recipients of advice. Collaborate across professional teams. When clients feel ’in it’ with professionals rather than ‘done to,’ safety and engagement rise.
- Empowerment – Notice and build on client strengths and existing resilience. People in divorce often minimise what they are doing well. Naming their capacity supports clearer thinking.
- Cultural Consideration – Stay sensitive to cultural, historical, gendered and spiritual contexts. Experiences of separation, stigma and support look different across communities.
These principles create an environment where clients feel safe, respected, and supported – which directly improves their capacity to engage with legal processes and make sound decisions.
Practical strategies for family law practice
Recognise and respond safely to trauma. When a client becomes emotional, shuts down or seems unable to focus, consider whether they are experiencing a stress response rather than being deliberately obstructive.
Apply trauma-informed principles in all interactions. Use trauma-informed approaches in interviews, negotiations and safeguarding to build trust and stronger relationships with clients.
Allow time and space for processing. Provide written summaries of key information, build in time between meetings for reflection and avoid expecting major decisions to be made under pressure.
Work collaboratively with therapeutic support. Clients benefit enormously when legal representation works alongside therapeutic support, enabling them to engage more effectively with legal processes and make clearer decisions. This increases confidence in supporting those affected by abuse and improves client engagement, helping cases run more smoothly.
Adopt a shared framework. Help the whole team to adopt a shared trauma-informed framework, ensuring consistency and better outcomes for families.
Understand boundaries. Trauma-informed practice does not mean providing therapy. It means recognising when trauma responses are impacting a legal matter and knowing when to signpost to appropriate psychological support.
Beyond the ethical imperative, trauma-informed practice offers practical benefits. Clients feel heard and understood, cases progress more efficiently when clients are psychologically supported, and better and more sustainable outcomes are achieved, reducing the need for future litigation. As a result, the potential of vicarious trauma for professionals is reduced.
Moving forward
Trauma responses can arise in any family law matter and the sector is increasingly recognising the importance of being trauma-informed, alongside Resolutions Code and NCDR approaches.
By integrating trauma-informed principles into your practice, you can restore trust and improve outcomes during one of the most difficult transitions of their lives. We cannot predict which relationships will be healing, any one of us can be a source of repair.
Trauma touches everyone, individual and societal. Being trauma informed affects not only the legal outcome, but the client’s capacity for recovery and their children’s long-term wellbeing.
About the author
Sonya Black is a BABCP accredited cognitive behavioural psychotherapist and coach with 20 years of experience in both NHS and private practice, including as a clinical lead in a specialist trauma service. She works at the intersection of psychology and family law, having completed family mediation training, supporting individuals and couples navigating separation and divorce while providing trauma-informed training and consultation to family law practitioners. Her work focuses on helping legal professionals recognise and respond to trauma responses in clients, improving case outcomes and reducing trauma during legal processes. Sonya is passionate about bridging therapeutic and legal frameworks to create more humane family justice outcomes.
