Best-selling author and award-winning coach Sara Davison explains how to identify signs of trauma and domestic abuse in family law practice. This article contains an affiliate link to a course created by the author and launched in conjunction with Today’s Media.
Family law has always required a high level of skill, judgement and resilience. The legal, financial and procedural complexities involved in separation are significant, and professionals in this field are highly experienced at managing them with care and precision.
However, many practitioners are noticing that cases are becoming more complex in a different way. The challenge is not always in the legal framework itself, but in what sits beneath the case – in the human dynamics that are not immediately visible, yet increasingly shape how matters unfold.
What presents on the surface can often be misleading. A client may appear difficult, inconsistent or highly emotional. Communication may feel strained, instructions may change and progress can slow or stall in ways that are hard to explain. These situations are typically approached as part of the natural variation in client behaviour and quite rightly so. Yet in a growing number of cases these patterns are not simply about personality or circumstance.
They may be indicators of domestic abuse.
Recognising the signs
This is not always overt or immediately recognisable. It is not always disclosed and it often continues – or even escalates – after separation. One of the most important shifts in recent years has been a broader understanding that domestic abuse is not defined by isolated incidents, but by patterns of behaviour designed to exert power and control, often in subtle and complex ways.
Without specific awareness of these patterns it is easy for them to be misinterpreted. When that happens the entire dynamic of a case can be framed inaccurately. Behaviour that appears to be indecision may in fact be driven by fear. What looks like non-compliance may be the result of coercion happening out of sight. Emotional responses that seem disproportionate may reflect trauma rather than temperament.
In these situations even well intentioned advice can have unintended consequences. Encouraging open and reasonable communication, for example, may place a client back into a dynamic where communication is being used as a means of control. Similarly, applying pressure to move a case forward more quickly can increase risk if one party is being destabilised or manipulated behind the scenes. Even language that is neutral in tone can feel overwhelming or triggering to a client whose capacity is already reduced by stress.
This is not a reflection on professional capability. Rather, it highlights a shift in the landscape that requires a broader lens.
Beneath the surface
Domestic abuse has always been present within family law, but the way it manifests is becoming more widely recognised. There is now greater awareness of coercive control, financial and administrative abuse as well as post-separation dynamics where the legal process itself can be used as a continuation of control. Importantly separation is no longer understood as the point at which risk necessarily diminishes. In many cases, it is the point at which it increases, as the loss of control can lead to escalation.
Alongside this there is a growing understanding of the psychological impact of breakup and divorce. These are not purely legal events; they are deeply personal and often destabilising experiences. Clients may appear composed and capable, yet beneath the surface they may be dealing with cognitive overload, disrupted sleep, heightened anxiety and a reduced ability to process information or make decisions effectively.
What can be perceived as inconsistency or lack of engagement is often a reflection of reduced capacity under pressure rather than unwillingness. When this is understood, it naturally influences how professionals communicate, structure decisions and manage the pace of a case.
Demonstrating awareness
A trauma-aware approach does not require professionals to step outside their role or take on therapeutic responsibilities. It is about recognising patterns earlier, interpreting behaviour more accurately and making small but meaningful adjustments to communication and process. Changes in tone, pacing and structure can significantly affect how a client experiences the legal journey and in some cases, how safe and supported they feel within it.
There is also a broader professional shift taking place. Clients are increasingly informed and aware of these issues and expectations around safeguarding continue to evolve. Courts are more attuned to patterns of coercive control and there is a growing recognition that understanding these dynamics is part of effective practice.
Firms that demonstrate awareness in this area are often better positioned to build trust, reduce unnecessary escalation and manage complex cases more effectively. This is not about replacing legal expertise, but about enhancing it with a deeper understanding of the human factors that influence behaviour and decision making.
Most professionals do not miss these dynamics through lack of care or diligence. More often the gap lies in the absence of specific training in this area. Without that awareness there is a risk of applying standard approaches to situations that require a more nuanced understanding, or of unintentionally increasing pressure on clients who may already be vulnerable.
Patterns of abuse
In more serious cases, misunderstanding patterns of abuse can have significant implications, not only for the outcome of a case but also for client safety.
Over the past 16 years of working exclusively in the field of breakup, divorce and domestic abuse recovery, one consistent pattern has emerged: when awareness increases, outcomes improve. This is not because legal expertise changes, but because it is applied with greater insight into what is driving behaviour beneath the surface.
In response to this growing need, I have developed a CPD-accredited Breakup, Divorce & Domestic Abuse Awareness Accreditation specifically for professionals working with separating clients. Delivered online and designed to fit around the demands of practice, the training provides structured insight into recognising patterns of domestic abuse, including post-separation abuse, understanding how trauma impacts communication and decision-making and responding in a way that is both professionally appropriate and trauma-aware.
The programme, launched here in partnership with Today’s Media, is designed to complement existing expertise, giving professionals greater confidence in navigating complex client situations while maintaining clear boundaries and safeguarding awareness. As these dynamics are now present in a significant proportion of cases, many firms are choosing to undertake this accreditation as part of their ongoing professional development. It supports better client outcomes, helps reduce escalation and signals a commitment to informed, modern practice.
Click here for further information about the training (affiliate link).
In today’s family law landscape, understanding the law remains essential. Increasingly, however, it is the ability to understand what sits beneath the case that distinguishes those who are best equipped to navigate its complexities.
About the author
Sara Davison is an expert on breakups, divorce, and domestic abuse, known globally as The Divorce Coach. A multi bestselling author, podcaster and award-winning coach, Sara has over 30 years of coaching experience, shaped by her own journey as a survivor of domestic abuse. She is a qualified NLP Master Practitioner with additional training in hypnotherapy and public speaking. Her expertise spans co-parenting, high-conflict separations, emotional abuse recovery and supporting workplace wellbeing during times of personal crisis.
